We’ll never know for sure since these characters are indeed fictional cartoons, but it’s fun to imagine what their bedroom skills would be like. Based on their personalities and body language, we have compiled a list of Disney characters that we think would consistently perform well in the bedroom. After reading this list, it’s likely that you’ll never look at your favorite character from childhood the same way again. Click to see who is featured.
Think we missed a character? Comment below and tell us who you suspect would be a good lay!
Hercules. Those arms though. Hercules’ body is an obvious indication that he could really pick you up and toss you around if that’s what you’re into. This guy’s much more than his hunky body. The man’s a hero! A determined go-getter who we are positive would stop at nothing to make sure you are satisfied. Meg is a very lucky woman.
Tinkerbell. She’s rather feisty and flirtatious in general and we assume that she would be no different in the sheets. Since she can fly, all sorts of gravity-defying sex positions are on the table. Being a bit of a brat, we can assume that she’s probably very picky about who she chooses to let her hair down with.
Tarzan. The sex would be wild. Being raised in the jungle, we bet it would be a very rough and primitive experience. For instance, he’s definitely the type to pull your hair and then check it for bugs during pillow talk. Tarzan would literally do it like they do on The Discovery Channel. Note: most of the pillow talk would be you teaching him the English language.
Esmeralda. We’re right there with you Frollo. Fictional or not, Esmeralda has to be one the most sultry characters of all time. Her smooth and graceful dance moves are nothing short of erotic. Beyond the physical, she is a very selfless person. We therefore assume her to be a rather generous lover.
Nala. Can you feel the love tonight? Nala’s fierce inner strength and confidence know no bounds. She would for sure hold the dominant position during sex. She would never hesitate to give you specific instructions for exactly what she wants. Grr, arrgh.
Jasmine. For most of us Millenials, the “Aladdin” scene where Jasmine twists Jafar’s beard around her finger served as our first exposure to seduction. Jasmine was very good at it. She uses her sexuality to her advantage and appears to be quite comfortable in her own skin, since she is always sporting a crop top.
Aladdin. Yeah, him too. Riff-raff, street rat, call him what you will, but that boy has got to be an excellent lover. Overcoming so much struggle, he would be very appreciative of each of life’s little luxuries, including the old in-and-out. Aladdin and Jasmine together are the stuff that (wet) dreams are made of.
Rapunzel. Having been locked up in a tower all her life, we’re sure she has a lot of pent up sexual tension. She would be a very curious and courageous lover. Rapunzel would encourage trying new things each and every time. Gotta love enthusiasm.
Thomas O’Malley. This guy. So charismatic and effortlessly charming, he would be the type to give gifts “just because” and start things off with a full body massage. Being an alley cat, he’s been around the block a couple times and is therefore very experienced in the realm of sex.
Kocoum. As a leader amongst his tribe, we think Kocuom would get the job done and do a bang-up job at that. Being that he is always so tough and brave, the cuddle session after the sex would be particularly satisfying because it would be a chance to see him vulnerable. Kocoum would be one heck of a big spoon.